So I knew  from being that I had done damage to my body overweight. I new that my joints would ultimately start to ache. I knew that my insides those parts you can not see, like my heart, liver, kidneys would be strained or weaker because I was overweight.  I am not naive to think that damage would not be able to be repaired. I knew that I had to take control of my life and start to be healthier, for me and for my loved ones. I did not ant to be a burden on anyone, if my health began to really deteriorate.  I also, knew that the most damage I had done was to my largest organ my skin!

A couple of weeks ago I was up by my family and they are supportive of my journey. I want to set a healthy example to my nieces, plus I want to be healthy to be around to watch them become the amazing women that they will become. They know I have lost almost 75 pounds. My youngest niece sees my arm arm while we are playing a board game, and asks why its so squishy. I tell her this what happens when you are overweight and you’ve stretched your skin for so long. As we get older we lose elestian in our skin and it does not tighten back up again. I said at some point when I reach my goal weight and I feel like I have toned enough I would probably look into having the extra skin removed. She goes to me, don’t get all of it removed I like a little of the squishy.

I am sharing this today, because as I am a little over half way through what I want to lose, the reality of what my body is starting to look like is really hit me.  I was always that girl who would go sleeveless, my arms were big but they were my arms and I was fine with it. With warmer weather soon to be here, I am becoming self conscious of my body!

I have WINGS!  They flap! While as I build more lean muscle yes it will not be so bad, but come people there will be flap!

 

My ams are not the only thing! My stomach and sides are not looking so great. My thighs are showing signs of loose skin. My stomach and sides I can hide and not show. But my thighs and arms if I choose to wear shorts or short-sleeves or even sleeveless I can not hide.

Boys, stop reading cause I’m going to talk boobies! Or more the lack there of now!! I never thought I had large breasts, I was ok with them. I got re-sized today and my girls are very sad looking. They are like deflated balloons! They were never perky but let me tell you they will only ever become perky if a  gifted surgeon makes them that way!

I felt like I was a pretty confident in my own skin person, but I am in a transitional place and right now I am wavering with that self-confidence!

This weight loss journey is a huge mental challenge! The challenge to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself naked! You can really see the damage you have done to your body, at least that is what I see! That reflection doesn’t have me feeling very attractive! I do not feel sexy!

While I see that damage, I also see a strong, driven and motivated women! Who when she puts her mind to something she will be successful!

There is NOT much of anything I can do to tighten up my skin again, the damage has been done! There is NO magic collagen supplement I can consume to improve my elastian in my skin! Drinking my water! Eating a healthy diet and building lean muscle will help, but I will have loose skin! That one day I will have surgically removed, once I reach the point where I have reached my weight loss and fitness goals.

In my mind when I look in the mirror I know who I see. There are days that I struggle with that, but most days I don’t see the squishy wings, and deflated balloons!

 

So March is over, and I did not quit make my monthly goal of losing 9lbs. That is ok I still lost 2.8lbs for the month! So that is a win! Woot woot

I did have other goals for March that I won at! I committed to trying a new class at the gym, and I loved it! It’s called water power. I have a gym membership Wisconsin Athletic Club, I wanted to take advantage of the classes they offer and to try something new that I could end up enjoying. Let’s be honest, if we do not enjoy something we are just not going to do it!

I have enjoyed the Water Power class I took, to the point that it is now in my weekly workouts. I have found something I like and will commit to every week!

So with the start of April, comes new goals and some modified goals. For April I have committed to adding one more day to work out, and trying something new. With the weather finally getting warmer I can get outside and walk! My other goal for April is to lose 15lbs, I need to make up for last month. I also want to stay about 4 points below my daily of 26 points (WW program). Which means I’m aiming for Blue dots all month long!

There are a few things I’ve discovered and I have learned about myself on this journey.

1) When I put my mind to something I am determined to reach my goals!

I’ve learned that I need to set small attainable goals for myself. When I started I set a goal that when I lost 20lbs I would go visit my best friend Juliane. I set a goal for myself this month to try a NEW class at the gym that I can add into to weekly workouts. Every day and week I track my food and activity on my WW app.

Find what works for you, to help you reach your goals. Maybe you don’t know what will work for you, try different things until you find the one things that works for you.

2) I am more optimistic and motivated then I ever thought I was

On this journey in the beginning it was a struggle, and let’s be honest there are still struggles and will always be struggles. I would get so frustrated with myself if I had a week where I gained or only lost .6lbs I mean what is .6 lbs that’s what my pants! The point is I would get disappointed and self doubt and negative thoughts would creep into my mind. Example, I would think well I stayed with in my points (calories) and I worked out and I gained, what it’s the point! I am destined to be over weight why am I bothering. I decided to allow myself to feel these feelings and have these thoughts for only 10 minutes. I did not want to deny my feelings, but I sure as hell was not going to let them take over and control or derail me. So for me giving me that time limit worked. Then I worked on looking back at what I really did, and was HONEST with myself.

3) That if I fail or do not succeed the odds are I know what I did wrong or what I need to change to succeed.

Taking an HONEST look at what I ate or didn’t eat. Working out etc. Did I “really” track honestly? Odds probably not! Did I make up an excuse to not get my steps in or go to the gym? Probably yes. Those little lies I told myself could be part of why I was not successful!

4) That my body is just that MY BODY! And my body will not be like anyone else’s!

I learned that my body will occasionally have a large weight loss one week and then smaller losses or even a small gain the following week. I also have learned that I can on occasion sense that I will have a loss, my body feels lighter. I also knew that in the beginning my weight would come off a bit easier. I also know what foods make me retain water and bloat.

5) Found my emotional triggers! Lets be honest most of us emotional eat! Discovering what your triggers are that have you reaching for that “comfort food!”

For me being bored was a trigger, I would snack at night. When I was stressed or upset I would go for something sweet. So now I’m aware of those triggers and I have other options to reach for. If I want to snack at night I have pre cut crunch veggies. Or I actually go to gym after work most of the time so that fills some of the boredom time with activities. If I’m wanting something sweet I make sure I have fresh fruit in the house, but i have found some of the low point snacks that WW offers are just enough to curb the craving and to satisfy the need.

I found to that journaling helps too, putting thought and feeling to paper to get them out.

Part of this journey is self discover. I am learning more about my body and its relationship to the food I put into it. The relationship between my body and my mind is where I have learned the most, and I know full well I have so much more to learn. The BIG thing I have learned is that if my if MIND is not on board my BODY will not follow!

I sat down today to work on some goal setting to make sure I reach my goal weight. I want to reach my goal weight by my birthday. Now I should clarify that just hitting a certain number on the scale is NOT in anyway the end of this journey. Overall health is the main goal. So how am I going to lose 67 pounds more by September? This is how I’m going to do:

1) plan my meals and make healthy choices, yet not deprive myself of a treat

2) track my food daily- hold myself accountable to stay within my daily calories, but also to make sure I’m eating enough fruits, veggies, lean protein and carbohydrates.

3)DRINK WATER

4) movement, making sure that I am doing some type of activity everyday for min of 30 minutes, mini goal with in this one, is to try a new class at the gym? And stick with it for a month on top of the other days of exercise.

My goal is to lose on average 2.3 pounds over the next 29 weeks. I decided to make the tracking fun!

This week I’m aiming to lose that 2.3 pounds because that will put me at a total loss of 70lbs! Then I’m aiming for 5 more pounds. Small measure and attainable goals that will add up to my end result big goal.

So I have struggled these last few month with my weight loss journey. I ended flat in January, having weeks of gains and weeks of losses. February, was a slow loss month as well. Then last week Friday after having a loss the week before, I had no change. WHAT the F%$^! Is exactly what I was thinking.  I was like WHAT?  I so tracked and stayed at or below my calories everyday. I worked out. What happened? I immediately went to this better not be a lose, no change and gain kind of a month! I have a goal I want to meet and I have a deadline of when I want to get there! This is just NOT going to work.

Then I remembered something actually a couple of things. That while I may not have had a loss, I still had a win! I made healthy food choices and I moved my body. On the weeks where I gained if I looked back and the choices I made I know exactly what I did. Then there are the weeks that well.. did I work hard enough.  I celebrate what I call NSV (non-scale victories).

I also reflect on where I started and how far I have come already. Do I really want to give that all up to only have to start it all over again! I can say hell no to that.  So I sit down make a grocery list and plan my meals, and plan when I am going to workout. I attack the next week with more determination. I keep in mind that this weight and bad choices did not happen over night so nor will they vacate my body over night (as wonderful as that miracle would be).

I find motivational quotes to get me through, I remember what I want in the end, and knowing that I am NOT going to break this promise to myself no matter how rough and tough this journey is! I found some new motivation from Rachel Hollis, the 90 challenge she talks about. You can make your goal whatever you want. Check out her video.

 

I will succeed in reaching my goals, no matter what anyone thinks.

Find your motivation to help you get to your goals, whatever they are! What is your motivation?

 

 

So I have been on this journey to a healthier lifestyle for just over a year. The added benefit it I’m losing weight! I am down 67lbs! WOOT WOOT I have done that just by watching what I eat, now full disclosure I am doing the WW (formally Weight Watchers), and that community has helped me! Now everything that I am sharing is NOT from WW program, most of it is what I have discovered works for me! Everyone is different everyone results are different.

For me planning is a BIG part of my success. I plan my meals. I go through cookbooks, I look on Pinterest for meal ideas and inspiration. Then I make my grocery list. For example this week I wanted to make, my version of PF Changs Lettuce wraps(I will link to a similar recipe I found on Pinterest check out my recipe page) I also wanted to make ahead a breakfast egg bake (similar recipe on my Pinterest recipe page). Plus I always make sure I have enough fruits and veggies in my fridge.

I write out my list my category, all fruits and veggies together, all dairy, meats etc..

 

 

I rarely if ever go up and down the actual aisles!!! All the processed and not so good for you foods are down some of those aisles.

After I get home I clean and cut up all my veggies and fruits, cause lets be honest that is the worst part! I even on occasion get real lazy and I buy the already cut up veggies… shh do not tell my mom!

This is one of my new favorites! Sometimes I go without the turkey. I also have put radish slices on it too! My favorite things is the Everything but the bagel seasoning!! I just scored a big bottle from Amazon!

I have found for me doing this makes it really easy to eat those healthier options then to grab a cookie or chips! Which by the way I DO NOT EVEN BUY!!! If its not in the house you wont eat it! Now that is easier said then done when you have a spouse or kids. But you can still buy those things for them but look at the labels read them see what the ingredients are, and make the healthier choices for you and your family. Reading the labels is a big part and can be time consuming the first go around, but once you find that healthier products they will be your go to!

How do you plan your meals?

I figured I would introduce myself to you all. I could go into a long story about my life, but this isn’t a therapy session. I will tell you this, I have struggled with my weight my entire life. With that struggle came doubts in my self confidence. Through self-discovery and years of therapy have allowed me to find myself. On that journey of finding my inner self my outward self did not match. I have done several weightloss programs and lifestyle changes throughout the years. But never really sticking to it for an extended period of time. There was always an excuse, or a challenge that took me “off the wagon” so to speak.  Finally, after discovering that I had some arthritis that was developing, I realized that I really have to start taking better care of myself and this 1 body I have.

So I began my journey. I am now a little over a year into this journey of transformation. I have discovered this is not just a journey of weightloss and getting healthier. It’s a journey of determination, motivation and sometimes there is some self doubt and struggles with my confidence.

I have posted inspirational posts on @nicwarnke on Instagram and on my Facebook page Nicole Warnke. Through doing that for that last year, I have come to realize that I am not alone! That my struggles, concerns and fears are others as well. I want to share inspiration and motivation for all of you to get through those struggles and fears!