Author: Nicole

STAY THE COURSE..

Another month has flown by. It was February, this moth tends to go by quickly. This month may have gone by quickly, for me it came with some realizations.

I stayed focused on moving my body and being active. I added one more day a week of movement. 4 days I moved my body either by going to LifeTime or doing stuff at home. I also, did another Detox, to reset by body.

The scale moved 3 pounds, I will take it! I lost a total of 2.5 inches. Again, I will take it. This time I lost some from my hips! Woot Woot. Nothing from my chest (Thank God!)

I did realize something this month. I have been noticing that over the weekends I tend to go up on the scale, sometimes by 5-8 pounds. On occasion I have done things that legitimately would cause that. With doing a detox the month, I was not able to indulge on certain things or have a cheat day. I do a great deal of walking on the weekends helps make up for the sitting a great deal through the week. One the first weekend of the detox I did notice an up on the scale. I was frustrated and wondering what it was that was going on.

Nothing like moving up on scale, then working all week long to only end up back where you were. FRUSTRATING!!

This is where I have been stuck at this point for the past 6 months!

The following weekend, I made sure I drank even more water then I was doing (I already drink a lot of water). I had a typical up, of maybe a 1-2 pounds. Non of the jumping up 8 pounds over night stuff! I kept my eating the same, and stuck with in my WW points.

With all the extra walking, I may also have been inflammation from all the walking, the extra water helps flush things out of my system.

I am still stuck however!! I am at # on the scale that I just CAN NOT get passed. It is frustrating and can be a little discouraging. If I am honest, it pisses me off! I have worked very hard to create new habits and get healthier that to be stuck just makes me angry. Then I think about where I was..

I am stuck, but I am so much more healthy then I was 107 pounds ago! I am stuck, I am not giving up and throwing in the towel. I am changing things up I am moving my body more. I don’t have many more calories I can cut out of my daily calories and still be successful. The moving my body more is my key.

I knew the last part of my weightloss would be the hardest. If you have been following along, by now you know I am not a quieter!

This journey is not easy, and I have grown and discovered a lot about myself, and about my body.

The plan for March is simple. STAY THE COURSE! Stick within my WW points and keep moving by going to LifeTime to move my body.

To anyone who is stuck. The number on the Scale is the entire story!!

On a random thought, I did dead lifts at the gym last night. I was lifting 115 pounds! I told my trainer this is heavy and I told here this is just about the weight I have lost. I can not fathom that I carried that much extra weight on my body!

Stay the course, everything with line up.

Results are in!

I had set a small goal for myself for the month of January. I was going look at this journey in a new perspective. Set myself small achievable goals to get me closer to my goal.

Starting the month of January my committing to move my body more. Through going to the gym 3 days every week for the month of January.

I did it! By doing I feel so much better. I made sure I did cardio 2 days and then had one dedicated day to strength training. Plus on one of my cardio days I also did some strength training. Building my lean muscle to help me burn more calories.

Before beginning this I took body measurements. Having been on a roller coaster the of up and down the last few month of last year. I needed to look at my progress in other ways not just by that number on the scale.

If you remember for last months post:

All my work paid off. I lost a total of 12.5 inches and I lost 10 pounds.

1 inch lost off both my arms

2 inches off my bust (noooo I will have nothing left)

3.5 inches off my waist (the inches lost)

2.5 inches on both my thighs

I lost nothing on my hips… Sorry Baby got Back!

While I did not notice my clothes fitting that much differently. Taking my measurements help me see that my work and commitment is paying off.

The proof is in the results people! I am committed to my journey! I am committed to succeeding!

How did I get these results. I found things I enjoy doing at the gym. Like I enjoy riding bike. I really enjoy rowing.

I set little challenges for myself to help get my heart rate up. For example rowing 500 meters in 2.5 minutes. Then I repeat it trying to beat my results.

I made the commitment to myself and paid for a personal trainer through my gym LifeTime for 3 months. The time I would like for it to take to me to drop the last 30 pounds I have to shed to get to my goal weight. Also, so I could build more lean muscle and tone my body the right way.

What we do in our sessions I can easily do on my own when I do my strength training work out on my own. Everything I need is in LifeTime app and I can access past work outs plus others.

On this day I did:

Dead Lifts
Step ups with a shoulder press
Assisted Pull-ups
Sled Pushes on the Treadmill
Some crunches

We do 3 circuits with multiple sets. The crunches and the sled pushes were the last circuit and I a was struggling with these crunches. I also felt them for 2 days after!!

Part creating new habits and trying new things is knowing that you are not going to be perfect! You will struggle. That you will not be as fast or as strong right out of the gate. But keep showing up! Keeping working on it. Before you realize it you will be stronger! More stable! Have better balance! More stamina.

Show up and just try!

Realistic, Attainable Goals for 2021

January 1. How many of you set “New Years Resolutions”? You want to to start the year out on the right path, and make changes in your lives. How many of you actually stick with them? Be honest!

I used to start the year going ok I am going to work out everyday! Well that shit never happened. I was repeatedly setting my self up to fail!

For me when I started this journey I learned from years of not succeeding, that I was someone who had to take it one goal/new habit at a time. When I began this I needed to get my eating habits on the right track. So WW was the format I choose to use. It gave me freedom to eat what I wanted to eat but dumbed down the calorie counting for me. Made it easy, it was overwhelming for me, I needed it to be simple and easy or I wasn’t going to be able to make calorie counting and tracking what I ate easy to maintain.

A year ago, I sat down and said I wanted to focus on a few goals.

  1. I was going to reach a 100 pound loss!
  2. I was going to create the habit of going to gym/moving my body more

Plus a few other ones. These are the two big ones that are relevant to my story today.

I knew last year when the year started I was going to be losing my job at the end of January. My plan was just to get through the process of closing the store I was managing. I was going to take advantage of some time off to get into a routine of being active! I wanted to be a “Gym Rat” type of person.

I had done it, for a couple of months, I was moving my body 5 days a week. I was creating that new habit of being more active. Like everyone else the rug got pulled out from underneath us.

I lost my access to my gym. I had to get creative I bought an inexpensive bike I went for bike rides when the weather permitted. I walked and I walked. Lifetime Fitness offered workouts through their app, which brought variety. I kept my eating under control, I did not allow the uncertainty and the loneliness of quarantining cause me to emotional eat.

I REACHED 100 pounds lost, this was the one thing I really wanted to make sure I achieved! I did it, through all of this unprecedented times this year brought.

Flash forward to today! Day 1 of 2021. I am setting small attainable goals for myself.

This year I will take more adventures! Open to inviting more Love into my life!

The BIG one I am going to reach my goal weight this year! I am 35 pounds away from reaching that. How do I plan to do this!

  1. I will move my body more
    1. Goal one is to get to gym 3 times a week and maintain that for one month
    2. Goal two once I have maintained the 3x week I will up it to 4x
  2. Keep my eating on track
  3. Continue to get outside and active.
  4. Build more lean muscle, tone my muscles

I have other goals as well. These are the ones that I am focusing on. I already have a commitment of being at the gym 1 day a week. I committed to having a personal Trainer, so I see her ever Wednesday! I need to go 2 more times a week. This is a small attainable goal! Something that I know I can do!

I am going to take my measurements and I am going to share my progress weekly. I am sharing that here with you, so if you too want to use this tool as a way to track your progress other then constantly watching that scale.

January 1: Day one of taking those small steps forward to my goals!

My Starting measurements!

Happy New Year everyone! Here is to a year full of love, laughter, adventure, good health and much success!

I Almost Quit..

I have been a bit silent on here lately. I probably should not have been, after thinking about it. I started a new job in September. I went from a job where I was on my feet walking and moving around all day, to a job where I am not sitting all day.

This change has had me struggling BIG time! I have been on a up and down for months. When I had planned and wanted to reach my goal weight this year, to just wanting to move my body more.

With this constant up and down and struggle to see that scale move, I have really struggled with my mindset.

I said when I started this I would share the good the bad and ugly all while being honest!

I can tell you this, I have made it through weeks on the this journey where I would gain 10 pound in one week, I was like I got this. I know what I did and I will turn this around. While the next week I would lose 5 pounds, I never gave up on myself!

These last months I was ready to give up on myself. I had shared with my WW coach that I was DONE, I was ready to quite! That this up and down is really challenging my motivation and mindset.

I am not a quitter! On this journey I have never given up on myself, like I was ready to do recently. That is frustrating to me, that I was ready to quite on myself!

I took a step back and put my scale away for a week. I did NOT quit, I stepped back and refocused on “WHY” I started this journey! I focused on my food. Now am I perfect on what I eat everyday NO. But I stay within my points.

I knew the last 25 pounds I have to lose to reach my goal, where not going to be easy. My body has spent its entire life being obese and at some point it was going to fight me on dropping lower and lower.

I also know that I HAVE GOT TO MOVE MORE for this work and for me to maintain this as a new lifestyle! Remember what I said at the beginning, I have a new job where I am sitting all day! Do you see where my problem is right!

After taking sometime to look at my “WHY” and look at my goals and what I want to accomplish. I am working daily on moving more, and keeping my mindset on the right path to get me to where I want to be.

I have made a recommitment to myself! For better or worse! I am recommitted to not giving up on myself.

You have to be willing to make changes!

I have had a life change this month. This change is a complete 360 from where I was a month ago. I started a new career at the beginning of this month. This is an opportunity to grow and develop new skills and be challenged. It has caused me to adjust my life a bit to stay successful on my journey.

My previous job was in retail, I was on my feet hustling around getting in 10,000 steps per day. So I had a built in if I didn’t get to the gym or got for that walk or bike ride, I got some steps in for the day. Also, had its challenge that my legs were tired after my day so I didn’t feel like going to the gym or go for that walk or bike ride.

My new job, is a desk job. I am sitting all day. I now average 3000 steps at work. I have energy at the end of the day.

So I have a couple of choices that I can make to stay on track with my journey here don’t I?

  1. I can just do the minimal steps I get in everyday, and keep within my points/calories everyday.
  2. I can change and create new habits in my life to stay on the path to my goals.

Lets be honest here, not everyone loves to workout. If you do than you rock! For me it is not my favorite thing to do. I am lazy people! I would rather sit on my butt on my sofa under a fuzzy blanket with music going, a movie on or a reading a good book.

Sitting on my butt is not going to get me to the goals I want to reach.

I have to be agile and open to making a change!! That is what we have to do in life though!! Be open and willing to making changes. Creating new habits is change! Eating healthier, making better food choices is change! Starting a new career is change!

This is a change I have to make on my journey, it is not the first one and it will not be the last one I have to make. Being open and honest with myself that there needs to be some adjustments is the biggest part!

I can make the excuses or I can get up and put my big girl pants on and make the change and do the work!

I am making small attainable new habit changes, to build toward larger goals.

What Differences Do I/You See?

This week was a struggle, I am not going to lie. I had challenges with always making the healthier choices. I did some late night eating, not snacking, just eating my dinner later in the day because of work. (That typically doesn’t work well for me)

Today’s a day where I needed to reflect back just for a moment to see what I have really accomplished for myself. So I went looking on my phone for a photo of myself (there are not many) from the very beginning. I did a little side by side of that one with one I took yesterday. For a first time in a long time I saw a huge difference in the two women in those pictures..but the differences I saw are probably going to surprise you.

This was all prompted on the fact that I mistakenly stepped back on the scale this morning after I had done my official weigh in for WW. In the 3 hours from that weight in I was up 3 pounds! In 3 Hours. Now I am fully aware that I am not taking that gain seriously. But it had me thinking about how that number on a scale can really have a huge effect on our mindset!

Oh, don’t get me wrong I did have a 5 pound gain this week. I struggled this week. I ate things I shouldn’t have meaning I ate too much! Or I made the unhealthy choice instead of the healthy choice! I know what I did!! I raise my hand and fully admit it! While I struggled and I always will. This week is not defining my entire journey thus far nor going forward.

I attended a WW meeting today to get some supportive encouraging words and ideas. With everything going on in the world I have not been consistent with attending meetings, I need to get back on that wagon. Few of the members had said to me “you look great”. “I have not seen you in awhile and you are looking good, keep up the good work.” I wanted to go back and look at whree I started to now.

I know this that the women on the left side, I would not have admitted she was as fault for her gains in weight. She made excuses! Oh they were creative and good you guys! Because she bought into them. She really was not happy. I do not mean just about being over weight, I mean everything. Some of her friends and family may not have really known this, and are just learning that now. She faked it well. She was lost and unmotivated. She felt unworthy of Love in all its forms, the love from friends and family and the love from a partner. This stems from somewhere deep inside her, I do not believe its from anyone thing. The root of those feelings may never be known, and frankly I do not think it really matters at all. Why you wonder. It is because the of women on the right.

She does not give a shit. This women on the right is becoming the person/women I have always meant to become. I am not that women for the most part. I full well know what I have done in the terms of choices and habits to get the results I have gotten this week! I am also very aware of what I need to do get back on track. It will happen!

It has taken me time and a great deal writing in journal on and off, of spending time with myself doing self-reflecting, meditating and to learn myself. To learn that regardless of my weight I am “WORTHY” of everything I want. That excuses are bull shit. I am overweight because of the choices I made and the bad habits I had. Genetics is not the entire reason behind it. I am not attractive to men because I am overweight. Well that might have been part of it, but the bigger part was that they way I carried myself, spoke and overall attitude. I DID NOT LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH!! That was what everyone picked up on!

I have a determination to succeed on this journey that I can not truly explain where it comes from. I can speculate. I believe it comes from a place deep inside me, a place of LOVE. The time I spent getting to know myself I was learning to love myself to understand my worth. This is a daily struggle, and I make mistakes. It is the love that I have for myself that has me moving forward and not giving up, because I now know that I am worthy of reaching my goals all of them! I will not stop until I do.

I wonder how many of you thought that some where in here I would mention that the differences I see in the two women was weight loss!?

Changing My Perspective

Being on this journey for the last two years and having gotten to this point in my journey, I personally have to change the way I am looking at my progress. Meaning…

Being down to the last 32 pounds I need to lose, that scale might not be moving in big increments. There are always other ways to track and see our progress. The way our clothes fit. The energy we have. Maybe its getting off of medications. There are multiple ways.

Measuring the inches you have lost across your body, is one way as well. This is what I have started this week. Now, I should have started this at the very beginning! But I knew that in the beginning the scale was going to be the thing that moved the most and potentially quickly (not always though). But being at this point in the journey that scale may not move very much? I have also gotten back into regular exercise and want to see those results and how they will transform my body.

So I wanted to share the blank form I found online with all of you. Just in case any of you wanted to change your perspective on your results.

The idea is to take my measurements every week and see the results. set up a goal for myself for the month as well.

The idea is to look at how my entire body is changing. How, I am toning and building muscle. All maybe while that scale is moving by a half a pound a week or not at all.

I actually wish I had done this at the very beginning..but I just didn’t. I would really like to know how many inches I have lost of my body! I mean I could find the size pants and top I was wearing and measure those and look at my current measurements and compare. I am not doing that.

I am looking from today and forward! Here’s to see this journey in a new way!

I HAVE BEEN KEEPING A SECRET…

100 POUNDS GONE AND THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED

I have kept this to myself for two weeks. I needed to take the time to really let this sink in. I have basically lost the weight of my niece Abby. I had to let the emotional part of that sink in. I wanted to really think about what I have learned and how my life has changed. The time to reflect is over. Honestly, I will always probably reflect back every once in awhile, it is important to know where you started and how far you have come!

It is time to celebrate now!!

Also, to share what I have learned along the journey so far about myself and much more.

I took 2 years and 5 months for me to shed 100 pounds! But a lifetime of bad habits to put it on in the first place.

This is where I started.
This is me today 100 lbs lighter! So much wiser!

When I started this journey on December 8, 2017 I thought I will reach my goal (which is more then 100 pounds to lose) within 2 years! I felt like I knew that I would just really drop all the weight that I spent a life time to putting on in just 2 years. Boy, did I learn a lesson that is not reality at least NOT my reality! There are many things I have had to relearn and frankly to learn, and those things can not be learned overnight.

I did know that this journey was not going to be easy. I just figured it would be quick. Through this journey there were lessons and things I needed to learn about myself, my body, my emotions and my relationship to food! Until those lessons were learned I was not going to be successful.

I started this blog to share my journey and I have been silent on here for awhile, I just needed to focus on a few big life changes I was going through and to keep my head straight and focused on my journey. I had things I probably should have shared with you all at the time I was going through them. I said I would share the good, bad and the ugly! Regardless of what I should have done in the past few months, I am back now and I am here to share what’s been going on in my life and how hard I have had to work in these last few months to reach this huge goal!

So what have I learned about myself in the last 2 1/2 years on this journey:

  • The number one thing I learned and that was reinforced on this journey. Everyone’s journey is unique to them!!
  • That I thought I was eating healthy but I really wasn’t! I was eating food disguised as healthy an I was eating too much food.
  • I learned for me and my body cutting whole food groups out of my daily diet are NOT the answer!! I can cut a couple of days of no sugars but the complete elimination is NOT for me!
  • When I eat certain foods I retain more water. So I need to ensure that when I eat those foods, that I am increasing my water intake so I can flush my system.
  • That there WILL NOT be losses every week! I have to learn that sometimes I can do everything right and it will happen, or most cases I know exactly what I have done to have the result. For example, the week I gained 9 pounds in one week! I can be upset, but only in that I know exactly what I did to have that gain and that I should really know better!
  • I need to be ACCOUNTABLE for my choices! Meaning, I can’t not eat 2 pints of ice cream, a burger and fries and think that I will for sure have a loss that week!
  • That this is a life style change and not one day! That every small change and new habit formed are part of a larger picture!
  • That I needed to be MORE active! I had to move my body on a consistent basis.
  • That I need my community! Those individuals that understand this journey and the frustrations that may come with it.
  • That I am stronger and more determined then I every thought I was.
  • That I eat out of boredom! I need to find other solutions to pass time other then eating!
  • What works for someone else may not work for me! But there might be some bit of wisdom or advice that have that I can benefit from.
  • That I like eating a clean whole food diet!
  • I can self-sabotage like no one else! That I am now more aware of when and why I am doing it!
  • Most importantly I have learned to give myself more grace, I am not perfect! I am human and I will stumble and fall, but what is important is that I pick myself up and dust myself off and get back on the path I have created.

I have been part of WW (formally Weight Watchers) for the past two years. I have done several things over the years, I did Ideal Protein (basically Keto) worked but for me not a lifestyle I wanted to live everyday for the rest of my life. I like that I can eat whatever I want! I am never told what I can or can not eat on WW. For me, the tool to I like to say dumb down calorie counting is what I needed to be successful. All the years of struggling and wanting a quick fix are pardon my french utter and complete BULLSHIT! We all learned in school what we need to do calories in verses calories out! That is what WW does for me, allows me to track my calories and as I lose weight my daily points (calories) can drop. All so I learn how to eating within a healthy calorie range. I needed to get my calories I was eating under control. Remember, at the beginning I said EVERYONE’S JOURNEY IS UNIQUE!

I am not done yet! I set a goal weight for myself when I began WW and I have 35 more pounds to drop until I reach that point, which is a healthier weight for me to be at with my age and height. I had to break my journey down into parts, I needed to get my relationship with food under control first and foremost. I have done that with exception to my relationship to pizza! That may always be a struggle and a work in progress! I am working on that relationship. The other part of this journey for me was generating the habits of being more physically active! That is what I am working on. I know to be the healthiest version of myself I need to be more active!

Me! Today at the gym.

I am not hear to tell you what you need to do! I can only share what worked for me! How I feel, be it celebrating a win or having a bad day, week or month!

I leave you all with this months ago WW ran commercials where Oprah called people who had lost weight. So my question is

“Oprah, are you going to call me already?!”

The Changes I’m Seeing

On this journey I have been focused on paying attention to creating new habits and paying attention to my mindset and how I am mentally navigating through this journey. I put that physical changes in my body out of my mind or to the back of my mind. I knew I was changing, don’t get me wrong but true reality of those changes had not completely sunk in.

First of all I am just in general smaller then I was. I started this journey wearing a size 20/22 bottom and an 18-22 top (all clothes fit differently). I probably should’ve actually measured my waist, hips etc… but I didn’t. I really didn’t want to get to detailed.

This journey for me is not focused around being anyone size in clothes or number on that scale. I want to be strong, healthy, fit, and have energy.

I have rolls that are gone or almost gone. I can see the definition of the muscles I have in my arms. My body doesn’t ache! I feel stronger! Those are the things I try to stay focused on.

But I’m going to be honest it was pretty amazing yesterday when I tried on a size 12 jumpsuit! A Size 12!

Celebrate Every Win!

So on this journey I’m all about celebrating wins, no matter the size!

Today, I reached what is a big milestone for me I have lost a total of 90 pounds as of today!! Take this image 9x!

I have done things to lose weight before and lost weight only to gain it back! I was all determined in those previous processes to be successful! But those where programs where NOT what was ideal for me. This is the first time things have aligned both my determination to make healthy choices be it calories I am eating and making better healthier food choices to fuel my body. To moving my body more (working on this part). To wrapping my mindset around how I relate to food and emotions. With taking time to really pay attention to my body what works for me, I am feeling stronger! I have more energy! I do not feel sluggish or weighed down! This is the first time I’ve lost this much weight!

I am partially ashamed and embarrassed that I EVER let my health and my weight get as out of control as it did! Mind you I did not have high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol. With what I was doing to my body, it really was on,y a matter of time, let’s be honest! I didn’t have energy, I was tired all the time, I felt old!